One event at U.S. Open and GONE!

Today was another learning experience.  I learned that I don't enjoy swimming poorly.  That seems like an obvious statement but it was a moment of clarity for me.  I really seemed like I could not care how I did at this meet and be ok with it.  I was wrong.  I swam poorly and I'm embarassed.  I came to swim at the U.S. Open to have fun and see some friends.  I accomplished those two tasks before I even swam Thursday morning.  I saw some teammates and some EMU people, laughed and smiled.  I got to catch up with the CW coaches that just returned from the London Olympics.  Afterward I swam the 100m Butterfly in the preliminary heats. I was in heat 2 lane 5.  A good position for racing.  I took it out fairly well at 25.51, just two tenths slower than my best race ever a month ago when I finished in 54.83 seconds.  The second half of my race felt ok but was VERY slow.  I fell apart bigtime.  I finished in 31.2 seconds, the only time I finished worse was my first 100 fly ever a few years ago.  I touched the wall in 56.82 seconds, literally 1.99 seconds slower than I was a month ago in Omaha.  I was leading my 5 competitors at the wall and finished 6th in my heat.  I stayed on deck to support a few other swimmers, packed up my things, checked out of my hotel and headed home.  I contacted the coaches on my way back to Michigan and requested that they scratch me out of the 100m backstroke tomorrow.

Later in the day I would check results online to see that I finished DEAD LAST in the event with a 33rd place.  I find that embarassing for two reasons:

1. I didn't even come close to swimming as fast as the meet entry cutoff of 55.29.  I view the meet cutoff as a "you deserve to be here" time.  When I don't achieve the time it required to enter the meet, I don't feel as though I performed well.  My time was 2 seconds slower than I swam the event a month ago
2. This is the second time I've gone to the U.S. Open and finished dead last in the only event I swam.

I pride myself in understanding and embracing where I stand in the swimming world.  My swims today were far below my potential.  I'm a little embarassed of my swim.  I was 2 tenths slower than the second slowest person in the event.  Since I finished dead last in two U.S. Open meets I have to examine WHY I swim so poorly at this meet.  It didn't take more than a few seconds to figure it out.  These meets fall 1 month after the Olympic Trials.  A meet in which I train hard, taper and shave.  I prepare for months, in the case of the 2012 trials, I trained for over a year.  I think I'm just ready for a break after the trials, yet I keep training, admittedly not fully motivated, and try to squeak a few more races out of my training.  This might work for some people but not for me.  My swim today was a pathetic effort and I won't let it happen again.  I will either prepare for a meet and attend, or not attend at all.  Lesson learned.

On the lighter side of things. A special congratulations To Nickolaus Orf, the 17 year old from Parkway Swim Club who took 32nd place (second to last), YOU'RE WELCOME!  I took DEAD LAST so you wouldn't have to!

Today, just like my 2008 performance taught me that somebody has to take last place.  You never want it to be you, but it's bound to happen someday.  Accept it, learn from it, and be better next time.