Good swims, but not good enough

I'm disappointed.  I knew an Olympic Trial cut in either the 50 Free or 100 Fly was a bit of a longshot but considering I was about 0.50 seconds off my 50 free and 1.0 second off my 100 Fly, I thought a shave and taper would yield some good results.  I was wrong.  With preparation, a new suit, a shave and the majority of a full taper, I came up significantly short of my goals.  Today was a failure for me. I don't usually say stuff like that, but I feel pretty bad about my performances.

50m Free LCM: 23.78
I bought a new speedo suit yesterday.  I've heard mixed reviews on this suit, regardless of what stats speedo throws around.  In a few words: I'm not impressed.  It is by far the most painful suit I've ever worn with little or no performance benefit.  In fact, I may even argue it slowed me down but proving that would be impossible.  I'm unsure if I'll ever wear it again.  I was sized for the suit and tried it on once successfully.  This morning when there was 15 minutes till the start of my race, I began putting the suit on.  It's the most difficult suit to put on that I've tried, this is counting the full body tech suits.  Midway through the put-on process, my $361.00 suit riped wide open up the right side.  I might have let out some choice words in the locker room at that point.  I shook my head, quickly changed into my old speedo suit and immediately headed to the speedo booth.  They weren't busy luckily.  I said "My brand new suit ripped and I swim in 13 minutes.  They were very helpful, quickly got a new suit for me and assisted me in putting it on.  It was a stressful few minutes.  I arrived to the "ready room" late, the organizers were visibly upset and I apologized.  After a few minutes of waiting, we were called to the door to parade out on the deck.  Once we got behind the blocks they blew the wistle and then told us to stand down.  A laneline had broken.  This is the 2nd big race 50 free where a long delay has occured on my heat.  It's very distracting. As they fixed the lane marker, we sat in the seats they had provided to each lane.  It felt like forever, in reality, it was probably 6 minutes.  We were called up again and I had a near flawless race.  I took one breath, just as planned.  I really ran out of steam at 40 meters, an increasingly concerning endurance issue I've delt with my entire life.  I finished and looked up to see a disappointing "23.78".  It was the best time of my life without a tech suit... by far.  Yet, it was nowhere near the 23.49 Olympic Trial cut.  I had failed to achieve this goal for the meet.  I shook my head and got out to cool down and prepare for my 100 fly in 35 mins.

100m Fly LCM: 56.30
I had enough warmdown time between my 50 free and the start of my 100 fly, initially I was concerned whether that would be an issue.  I made the right choice to swim both events.   I was ready to race when our heat got called up.  I knew I had to have a great race to have a chance at the 55.2 cut.  My former best time was unshaved and untapered at 56.31 in Minnesota.  Since live results died at some point today, I'm not sure how fast I took out my first 50, it felt good but I hit the wall a little short which made my slow turn even slower.  I had good underwaters and surfaced past 10 meters.  I finished it the best I could to look up and see a "56.30".  I fully shaved and tapered to drop 0.01 seconds.  That's really disappointing.  I remember when I could taper in college and drop a SECOND or more in a 100.  I was not happy about that time.  I exited the pool but stayed on deck to see one teammate swim a 54.30 and another swim a 53.06, both very good swims which made finals.

Overall, I'm disappointed.  I came to London for a few reasons, most importantly to see and race in the facility. I did that and I'm proud that I had the honor to compete.  Past that, I really wanted another Olympic Trial cut.  Not only did I not earn another cut, but I was nowhere near either cut.  0.3 seconds in the 50 free and over 1.0 second in the 100 Fly.  Really quite sad.  Perhaps the worst part about today's performances is that I don't have a single tangeable thing to blame it on.  I would almost feel better if I could say: "I slipped on the block" which caused a horrible entry into the water, therefore, that might be worth 1.0 second.  There is no story like that today.  I felt rested and prepared to race, and it didn't amount to anything I thought it would.  I gave it my all, and it wasn't enough.

As nice as London is, I'm eager to get home and get back to training.  I need to make some changes or I'm going to swim another 57 second 100 back again at trials.  I want to believe I'm faster than that.  In my mind, I think a 55 is possible but something drastic has to change.  What I'm doing isn't working.  57.73 is a long way from 55 and I know that.  I'm a realist and I have a lot of work to do to achieve my goals.  Time for a change.

London: Thank you for a great experience.