A new challenge with an old twist

Today I had a brief meeting with Coach Mike bottom and Coach Mark Hill.  The topic was how to handle the recent situation with my Olympic Training Waiver.  Last week my waiver was denied.  This means that since I graduated in 2003, I could have trained for the 2004 games (which I didn't) and the 2008 games (which I did).  Since I'm going for the 2012 trials, this means they are counting 3 Olympic Games so far.  This exceeds the amount to qualify for the waiver.  The massive downside that I'm not allowed to train with the U of M team.  This wouldn't be a huge deal except for the fact that all the other post grads have received their waiver and are training alongside the college team.  This leaves me training alone for the next 4 months with very few practices I can participate in.

Today was the longest practice of my life, it was 1.5 hours.  Statistically nowhere near the longest practice I've ever done.  My mind was going in circles trying to make sense of the short meeting I had with the coaches immediately before my workout.  Although this isn't the case, I feel like I just got kicked off the team.  Things were going so well and all of a sudden I can have no day-to-day interaction with the team I've grown close to over the past 8 months.

Although the waiver situation is cut and dry, I keep going over it in my mind.  Desperately trying to figure out why the rule even exists.

I feel like I'm back where I started, training alone every day.  I want so much to see the positive in this... like, I'll get to do more kicking! Yet, I know I'll lose so much elsewhere in my training, all the support, the motivation I gain from a group workout and the interaction from the coaches.  It's a sad day in my training.

My knee is 100%, I'll be back in the water tomorrow.