"Go Faster Haircut"

I can't believe I forgot to mention I got my "Go Faster" haircut yesterday. I'm not kidding, I went into the barber and said "gimme the go faster haircut Henkel". He knew exactly what I meant. I got it cut around 11:15am-11:35am Eastern time yesterday, so that probably explains the power loss on the west coast. I've been told it looks "moderately, to extremely spiffy". The haircut represents my true commitment to ludicrous speed. All those hair follicles were holding me back. I had the same haircut when I had a great 100 back swim at Ohio State.... This could get ugly for all those other backstrokers. I recommend they avoid the blast radius covering most of the northern hemisphere.